About Julie: Julie is a seasoned marketing professional with over ten years of experience in integrated media and experiential solutions. She parlays her passion for working with brands into her extracurricular hobby (@uesgirls) by creating engaging social opportunities for women to make meaningful connections and forge lasting friendships.
Website: www.juliewolvek.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/uesgirls
1. Tell us about yourself
I work in advertising as Head of Strategic Marketing. I love what I do because my job allows me to be creative and strategic.
In my downtime I run a community platform on the Upper East Side that brings people (but specifically women) together and it provides the opportunity to connect with others in their community and make meaningful friendships in small, intimate settings.
I really love my day job, but this community is really what fulfills me. That’s like my fun zone.
My buzzwords would probably be passion, innovation, and community.
2. What tactics have you found to be the most useful for building your self-confidence?
Mmm, that’s kind of a loaded question!
Instead of tactics, I’m going to give a little piece of advice.
I think sometimes people really get caught up in their self-image and what others think of them. And I think it’s human nature for everybody to do that. I think people veer on the side of being self-conscious.
The best piece of advice I could possibly give, especially to somebody who lives in New York City, is to be unapologetically you, whatever that means. Despite what you may think, everyone is really focused on themselves, so people aren’t paying you as much mind as it may feel. It’s so important to just be yourself and continue to do what feels natural to you. That’s what makes you independent and ultimately successful. And confident.
I do try to take my own advice, although admittedly it’s a little easier said than done. I try not to care what others think, for the most part, and take solace in knowing that the only people whose feelings I have to concern myself with are those I know well and love. As far as being myself goes, I am – unapologetically – that, and feel I always have been.
That’s the little piece of advice that I’d like to leave others with:
“Don’t pay mind to anybody else, nobody else is living in your shoes, you have to do what makes you happy. With that mindset, your self-confidence should continue to build.“
Eileen: Obviously, I’ve really struggled with that. Having been bullied badly. But I’m working on it. And part of me doing this blog is showing my own growth. 5 years ago I would still be in my own head and I never would have published anything. It’s almost like doing and getting into the rhythm of doing helps you realize, it’s not as bad as you think, to your point, nobody is listening.
I think a big fear that people have is what are others going to think about what I’m doing, or are there going to be people mocking me or poking fun at what I’m doing? The hard truth is that everybody is out for themselves. Nobody is paying as much attention to you as you think they are and that’s a good thing.
3. When you’re having a bad day, what helps you get out of the funk?
An old boss of mine gave me the absolute best piece of advice that I always default to when I’m in a funk: If you look at a day as a football game with four quarters, you can allow yourself to have a “bad” quarter, knowing there’s room to pull yourself out of it and change the course (and outcome) of the game.
You might be having a really *crummy* first quarter but there is always opportunity to turn it around. So it’s not over until you stay the course and switch the play. And you have to apply that mindset to your day.
Eileen: I don’t even care about football but I like the comparison.
Me either! Football rules never get less confusing to me, but this piece of advice is simple and effective.
“You shouldn’t let one little fumble take away from your goal of winning.“
4. What are the key areas you focus on for your beauty routine (cleanse, haircuts, eyebrow styling, massage, etc)?
I’m a big massage girl, I try to get them twice a month. To me, massages are the ultimate in self-care and relaxation.
Second in the chain of importance would be taking care of my hair. From blowouts to highlight appointments, maintaining a regular haircare routine is important to me.
Last but certainly not least, my skincare routine. I subscribe to a no-fuss, no frills regimen. I use a little bit of moisturizer and a little bit of sunscreen in the mornings, and that’s about it. I don’t have a crazy multi-step routine. I wash my face in the shower, if that counts!
Eileen: Yea, I feel like washing my face is so important. There have been times I’ve forgotten to wash my face before the day and later on I realize it and feel gross.
It’s so funny to me how peoples’ routines are so different. I could count the number of times on two hands I’ve splashed water on my face outside the shower!
5. Do you wear makeup? If so, what does your makeup routine consist of?
I do wear makeup. I have a 5-minute makeup routine that never fails me, I’ve gotten it down to a science. It consists of moisturizer, topped with a bit of foundation for some even color, a few swipes of bronzer up and down my cheekbones and a final swipe of highlighter. I finish my face off with a bit of mascara, a soft brown shadow on my lids and a tone-matching lip pencil, which I use to both outline and fill my lips. It’s taken me awhile to learn how I like myself best, and that’s fairly natural as I work to accentuate my favorite features.
6. What is your favorite self-care activity before bedtime?
I love a good CBD tincture before bed. A wonderful little nightcap.
7. If you feel comfortable with this, what is your favorite feature about yourself? What is your biggest insecurity? I’m intentionally leaving this question vague.
My favorite facial feature is my eyes. Maybe my chin? I never loved my chin growing up (I have a cleft), kids would joke about my ‘butt chin,’ but I can really appreciate it now, because it’s a little more distinctive, and I enjoy having unique qualities. My least favorite feature has always been my lips. I’ve always been self-conscious about my lips, ever since I was a kid. I have a very small top lip and anybody who follows me or sees UESgirls stories knows that I get lip filler in my top lip. It’s the result of a very long-standing insecurity.
Eileen: You know, I would not have known that if you didn’t tell me. I wouldn’t think twice that you get lip fillers or are insecure about your lips. It’s one of those things that just goes to show, everybody has an insecurity.
100%. We are all honed into ourselves, all the time, so it’s easy for us to pick apart what we consider to be our own awful imperfections, but nobody sees that on the outside. In fact, it usually works the other way. Wild, isn’t it? That something we might dislike about ourselves, somebody else appreciates. To our earlier conversation, everybody really just focuses on themselves, what they don’t like and what they do like.
Eileen: To your point, I think it boils down to loving yourself.
It is. It’s about embracing what makes you different from the rest.. Because you’re the only one that can bring to the table what you bring.
“There’s only one you. Everyone is unique and that’s the beauty of it all.“
8. How have you learned to love yourself over time?
Simply put, acceptance. It’s just acknowledging that perfect doesn’t exist, but what you have and what you offer is beautiful.
Once you can acknowledge this, you learn to work with what you’ve got for better or for worse.
This all takes time and life experience. I don’t think there’s a secret sauce to getting there.
9. If you had one piece of advice for women out there fighting to overcome insecurities and building their confidence, what is that advice?
This is a little silly and maybe even a little antiquated, But I’d tell you to picture everyone on the street in their underwear. If you can laugh it off, it’s not that serious and hopefully it makes you feel like you can seize the day and conquer the opportunity in front of you.
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If you enjoyed reading about Julie, you should definitely follow her @uesgirls account.
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